The Five Communication Faux Pas Leaders Make | #45

Welcome to Unleash youh Impact Unlock Others, a podcast about inspiring leadership. We hope to bring you grounded wisdom, stories from real leaders, and leave you feeling inspired. Let's dive in.

Welcome once again to Unleash youh Impact Unlock Others. My name is Dave Morris, and I'm joined, as always, by Rich Horton. Hi, Rich.

Hi, Dave.

And today we're going to talk about the five faux pas of leadership communication. Rich, not that you make faux pas. I'm sure you don't, but do you know what faux pas means?

No idea. You're going to have to tell me.

Okay. Well, it comes from the French meaning false step.

And I think in our language, it's deemed to be some kind of social mistake or blunder or a slip in etiquette.

And what I'm really interested in talking to you about today is in a world that offers us endless communication tools and in many ways is more interconnected than it's ever been, why are we so disconnected? Why is it when we talk to businesses, they often say, yeah, communication is the biggest problem here.

And they do have these communication faux pas that are a barrier to their progress and their efficiency and their productivity.

Now, I'm wondering, is it the sheer amount of data that these days we have to absorb, if we choose to absorb it, is it because we're in a world of spin and distraction and false truths? I don't know what the answer necessarily is, but I do know the impact is sometimes it can affect respect, trust, and positive influence.

And in leadership, those are things that we need to avoid. So, Rich, what's your take on this?

Yeah, I mean, you're right. Communication is a huge issue. It's a thing that commonly comes up when I work with teams, work with individuals, and it's really hard to get right.

I mean, I suspect that some of the, you know, some of the stuff that's happened recently in our society around social media and sort of data overload and all that sort of stuff, I think that's a contributing factor to some of these faux powers mistakes we're going to talk about. I suspect, actually these mistakes have always been around.

Yeah. Okay. So that suggests there's something else going on here and it's part of the human condition, as we call it.

Yeah, yes, yes, absolutely.

But I guess in a world where there is those things I've just been talking about, where there's lots of false information, distraction, spin is a big thing, actually.

How do we cut through all of that and communicate really, really effectively and try to avoid maybe these Faux pas are just things that go on unconsciously. We don't realize we're doing it.

I would suspect so, because, you know, most of us in terms of how we communicate, there's usually good intent behind our communication. So, you know, we don't, we, we don't go out to, to make these faux pas on purpose.

So, yes, definitely, what we're trying to do with this podcast is to bring some of these mistakes, some of these faux pas, out into the open to help people reflect on, actually. Oh, maybe I'll do that a bit.

Okay. So actually, that suggests that some of this stuff is mindset related. And as you've always said to me, we can't change we're not aware of.

So we have to create a degree of awareness here before we can do anything about it.

So before we dive into what we think the five most popular mistakes are, anything else from you as a positioning piece of information about communication in general.

So, Dave, I don't know whether that's a faux pas you just made there, but you said the five most popular mistakes. I make common mistakes because I think if people, if people do these mistakes, they're going to be unpopular, probably. So.

Yeah, no, you're probably true, actually.

Yeah. So it's actually good to start that way because, you know, we in Zentana, we're not perfect either.

And actually when I list all these mistakes, you know, you and I both do all of these things at some point.

Absolutely.

You know, Absolutely. So, you know, with the best will in the world and the best level of self awareness, actually, we're all going to make mistakes around this.

So, you know, let's just be open, honest about this and just have an interesting conversation.

Yeah, I was going to say I put that faux PA in on purpose, but to be fair, I'd be lying. Well spotted, Rich. So let's talk about mistake number one. And I'm going to call it common mistakes, not popular mistakes.

Common mistake number one, Talking too much and filling the silence. Now, you must have come across people that you think actually they just have to constantly fill the gap. They're constantly talking.

Why do you think that happens? What is going on with people who just fill that silence all the time?

I think there are a couple of reasons for this, and actually it could be representative of two very different types of people, I think. So there's one type of person, and perhaps I would align to this type of person more readily myself, somebody with natural social anxiety.

Okay.

So, you know, you're in it. You're in A social group, perhaps you find it difficult to read the rules. You're not quite sure how to respond.

You know, you feel a bit anxious about what you're going to say, what people going to think. If I say this, they're going to think I'm stupid.

So sometimes when we start talking and we have the floor and we feel everyone's eyes on us, the anxiety levels rise. And that in turn I guess triggers the panic inside us. So as a result, our fight flight freeze system gets activated.

So we tend to talk faster when our fight flight freeze system has been activated. So I suspect that social anxiety might be one of the reasons why people talk too much. It's around social anxiety.

So they just talk because they're nervous. Another reason perhaps, and it's probably the other extreme.

It's almost like the person wants to demonstrate their expertise and their skill and their knowledge. And it's almost like they want the room to listen to them.

And it's a little bit, you know, perhaps a little bit ego driven, a little bit arrogant, you know. So, you know, sometimes people will say, oh, that person likes the sound of their own voice.

Now I'm sure that person who's talking a lot, their intent is not bad, you know, because they're probably wanting to share their knowledge and they wanted to contribute to the conversation. So I suspect some of that might be at play as well. And actually it could be a combination of both those things.

I think you're right. I think a lot of people who don't, who do speak a lot because they want to show their knowledge and be helpful.

I think that is exactly the intent behind it. But as you said, it doesn't always come across in that positive way, does it?

I mean, to give you an example, you know, I can think of three or four people that I know that I interact with fairly regularly who do this. And I think it's that they're doing it for that reason. They're doing it because they want to be helpful, they're showing their expertise.

But what I find for me, and I probably learned this from working with you over a number of years, I actually quite like having reflection time, time to think.

And when I'm in a conversation and some good points are made, sometimes I just want a bit of a gap, doesn't have to be a big gap so I can process what I'm hearing and think about what I want to say next. So somebody who's constantly filling the space for me doesn't allow me to process and reflect. And I Find that frustrating.

I find that really frustrating.

Yeah. And I think actually building in silence, building in reflective time, is a really powerful conversational tool, I think so.

You know, one of the ant antidotes for this common mistake, I think, is to start to become aware when you're becoming anxious, when you're aware of perhaps that awkward silence in the room, and to notice the anxiety levels starting to rise and just reground yourself, you know, take a deep breath, you know, just pause, embrace the silence and let the space do the work.

I think sometimes, I mean, not always, but sometimes silences can be a very powerful way to allow people that you're interacting with to think and to reflect.

And I think actually in the context of leaders and managers doing one to ones with their staff and with their team members actually not talking too much and allowing them the space either to reflect or to, you know, to talk themselves, I think is really, really powerful. And you're going to build trust and respect when you do that.

Yeah. The danger of not doing it is you disengage people.

They feel that they're unheard because they haven't got the chance to speak, or you overwhelm them. You overwhelm them with stuff that they just can't process.

So none of those things are particularly helpful if you're trying to influence and communicate in a positive way. I'm sure when you coach people, Rich, you must use silence as quite a deliberate tool.

Yeah.

Well, there's two things I think that a good coach would do and that a good leader and manager would do, because good leader and manager using a coaching approach would use silence. So don't be frightened of the silence. Don't use silence as a manipulative tool. You use silence is, is the.

Is creating the space for somebody to reflect, but it coupled with that is ask questions rather than going into tell mode.

Because sometimes when, when we're in that anxious state or actually we're in the place where we want to share our knowledge and experience and all that sort of stuff, we usually then go into tell mode, into transmit mode, and that's when it becomes a monologue as opposed to a dialogue.

I guess if anybody's listening to this and thinks, well, I could be one of these people who makes this common mistake. I could be one of these people who maybe does fill the silence too much, but I'm not really sure. I guess the answer is go and ask people who know.

You see what they think.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

Yeah. So that's common mistake number one. Common mistake Number two comes down to something we've talked about before.

Listening and what I've got here in my notes. Not really listening.

So we're almost pretending we're listening, but we're actually distracted and we're preparing to reply to the person who's actually in front of us. Why does this happen, Rich?

Well, to be blunt, I think to listen really well, to do what we call active listening, is really hard to do because it requires us to be completely focused, completely engaged, and to be really tuned in to the other person. So that takes conscious effort. My children are both grown up now. They're both adults, partners in marriage and all that sort of stuff.

But I remember sometimes I'm hoping I was a good father, but I remember sometimes I came home from work and they'd run to greet me when they were young, and I sort of, you know, they'd ask me all sorts of questions and they'd tell me about their day and that sort of stuff. And sometimes because I was so tired and distracted from, you know, from a busy day at work, I pretended to listen.

So apologies for my children if they're listening to this podcast, but, you know, apologies that I was perhaps pretending to listen, but that same mistake I think managers and leaders make in the context of team meetings and in one to ones, you know, it can be very common sometimes for people to be having a conversation with you and, you know very well because, you know, we do a lot of meetings through teams and that sort of stuff. And, you know very well they're probably reading a text message or WhatsApp message or an email or a team's message or whatever. So. So.

So they're completely distracted and. And they think they can multitask, you know, but. Yeah, yeah, you know, we can't multitask.

Active listening requires us to be fully focused, fully engaged, and to be really tuned in to that person.

And it takes practice for us to do that because human beings naturally get distracted, you know, So I don't know, I forget which Disney film it was now, but there was a Disney film where these pack of dogs were chasing around for something and they spotted a squirrel, and it became like a little bit of a meme, you know, during the film. So they used it to, you know, they said to the dogs, you know, there's a squirrel, you know, and the dogs got distracted and went somewhere else.

And we can be a little bit like that.

You know, we, you know, we had the metaphorical squirrel, which might be the team's message or the WhatsApp message and actually we tune into the message and while we're tuned into the message, we're not tuned into the person, you know.

So, you know, all those, all those workplace squirrels, you know, can be really quite distracting and really reduce the quality of the one to one interactions in the workplace.

Well, the danger of this is that that leads to misunderstandings, it can lead to mis nuance in a conversation or it can actually create more shallower relationships because we're not really deeply engaging with somebody at the level we should be.

Yeah.

So I think again, none of these things are things that we particularly want to achieve when we're communicating as a leader and trying to influence people. So you've said it's a hard skill to master. I get that. I totally agree. And I think listening isn't something I was naturally good at.

I've had to really work at it over the years. I'm not saying by any stretch of the imagination I'm perfect, but I do work at it.

What would your advice be to anybody listening to this thinking I'm definitely one of the people who makes this common mistake. What would your prompt be to try and do something different?

So the first thing I'd say is intentionality. So when you're going into a one to one call and I do this before every coaching session, so there's always a gap. I always build a gap into my diary.

It's only a small gap, but always build a gap into my diary.

So I take the time just to ground myself, just to center myself and go into the conversation with the intention that I'm going to be tuned in, going to listen, I'm going to ask questions and I'm going to try not to judge and make assumptions. So intentionality. Going into the conversation with intentionality is important.

And then I think it's about bringing self awareness into the conversation. So build the muscle by taking the time after every conversation to reflect back on how did that conversation go?

Go and give yourself a score at 5 or 10 or whatever. How, how tuned in, how engaged, how focused was I out of 10?

And, and did I start chasing squirrels?

Did you start chasing squirrels? How many squirrels did I chase, you know, during that meeting?

So, so what we're trying to do is to build reflective practice, you know, in, into your day to day working and just by scoring yourself, counting the squirrels. You know, that's a really good way to build the muscle of. Okay, I need to just be, try harder, a little bit harder next time.

Yeah. Okay, so let's talk about Common mistake number three.

Then, assuming we have a shared understanding, and this is usually caused by a lack of clarity or a lack of context. So how often does communication happen where kind of leaders skip context because they just assume someone's aligned with their way of thinking?

Yeah. I would add to that as well.

The nuance to this is around language, I think, because if you think about how language works and how it operates, and we've talked about this in a previous podcast, but I'm going to say it again because it's so important. You know, we have a concept or an idea in our mind that we want to communicate that might be quite sophisticated.

You know, we have evolved as human beings and we've become quite sophisticated thinkers. So we have these thoughts, these concepts, these ideas in our head, and actually what we need to do is to translate those ideas into language.

So there's a translation.

There's a translation process between concept and the language and the particular words and the sentences that we choose to formulate that's driven by, you know, our natural native language, the beliefs that we have, our culture, our upbringing, you know, so, you know, if your significant caregiver as a child use particular words to mean something, you know, they might be common words that we then use, and then we use those to communicate. Now, what's really interesting is what happens is when those same words are received by another person, that translation process happens in reverse.

So that person would take a word, and based on their worldview, their culture, their language, their belief system, all of that sort of stuff, they translate what they hear into what they believe to be the concepts and ideas that you're trying to communicate.

Yeah.

You know, when you think how complicated that process is, you know, what could possibly go wrong?

What could possibly go wrong? Absolutely. Yeah.

So I think it's really important to, if you're going to use words, is to put context around those so people have some sort of frame of reference for where you're coming from. Don't assume because you're using a particular sort of word that that that word will mean the same thing to the person you're talking to.

So giving context, creating context, checking assumptions, all those things is really important.

Yeah.

Because as we've said before in this podcast, and I know you and I have said this countless times over the years in programs that we've run, is that if we don't give people the context, human beings don't like operating without understanding context. So if you don't give it to them, they will make it up for themselves. And that's probably where confusion, misdirection comes from.

And that obviously wastes a lot of time, a lot of effort. So missing out this context is really, really quite damaging in terms of leadership, communication, and influence. Yeah.

And the thing to say about that is, in the context of a time poor world or society, it takes effort to put context into, say, a team's message or an email, because you're going to have to write more words, you're going to have to write more sentences to put context around it. That's going to take time.

So if you're rushing off communication, actually, you know, there's a real danger that people could misinterpret your very short emails and put the context around it themselves.

Yeah, no, absolutely.

So I think being really, really careful about assumptions and how someone else is receiving that those words that you're giving them is really important. I think also, and I think you've done it in this podcast today, is think about how we can get complex things across in a simpler way.

So your analogy of dogs chasing a squirrel, which was actually quite funny, but actually it got the point across in terms of what you were trying to say. And I think anybody listening will probably think, I get what he means by that.

So there are these tools, and I think metaphor and analogy is just one of those tools where actually we can make this easier if we just think about the way in which we convey that information.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But again, just, just make sure when you're using things like metaphor, you know, a very powerful metaphor for me, you know, because, you know, when I think of about that metaphor, the dogs and the squirrels, I have that film in my head and, you know, the scene of that film in my head, other people listening to this might think, you know, what. What is rich on? Hopefully I gave it context and explained it well enough for people to understand the metaphor.

But if I'd have simply just used the metaphor, you know, there's probably huge scope for misunderstanding.

So any other prompts or tips then, apart from a careful use of metaphor and checking, you know, actually, did someone actually receive the message that you intended to send? What else would you say is a tip or a prompt that you would give?

Be very tuned into words and language. This is something I do a lot in my coaching.

So even very simple words, I often will check understanding of, you know, when you use that word, you know, what do you mean? You know, if somebody says, for example, you know, this organization is a nightmare, actually, what do they mean by nightmare?

You know, break that down for me and, you know, tell me what lies behind that particular word, you know, so ask questions around language and don't assume that because they've used a certain word, you know where they're coming from. And don't assume your map of the world is their map of the world.

That's a brilliant tip. So, okay, common mistake number four then. Communicating through our own thinking style and not adapting to the thinking style of others.

Now, anybody who's listened to a lot of our podcasts will know we've done quite a few podcasts based around the concept of whole brain thinking. So if you have listened to those, you'll kind of know where we're coming from here.

If you haven't, it's worth going back and finding those episodes and listening to them because we all have our preferences for how we take in process and push back out information.

So, Rich, again, as you say, what could possibly go wrong when we communicate through our own thinking style and we don't adapt to the thinking style of others? Why does that, why does that cause a problem?

Yeah, to use another analogy, I've heard this chord, you know, standing on the, on a particular color on the beach ball. So, you know, a beach ball that you get, you know, at the seaside and you know, they got bands of colors on them.

You know, they have four, five, six, six colors and.

Yep.

So sometimes what happens, you know, we're standing on the beach ball in the middle of our particular color, and that color represents our thinking style, our personality trait or whatever. And then somebody on completely the other side of the beach ball is standing in their particular color.

So I'm standing in a yellow and somebody is standing in a blue, and, you know, we're both communicating from our side of the beach ball. Does that make sense?

And, you know, so, for example, if you're a person who is naturally very logical, very analytical, very data driven, that's going to shape the way you communicate.

And so if you assume that everyone else is naturally logical and analytical, actually that's going to cause huge misunderstanding and, and frustrations.

I once did a mediation, it was quite, quite a number of years ago now, where these two parties, one person that they came from a scientific research background, okay. And they were very data driven, very logical. Their whole career had been built around logic and analysis.

They were very precise about the words that they used. And the other person that I was in the room mediating between these two people, this person probably came from a very different context.

So, you know, they didn't come from a Scientific background. They're very intuitive, very easygoing. They used words in a much more glib way than this person.

So there was huge misunderstanding between these people and frustration because the very logical person couldn't understand why the person was so imprecise with their language and, you know, and, and just made decisions on the hoof and that sort of stuff and just went with the flow. Why, why would they do that? You know, that's, it's far too risky.

So, you know, so, so that they were literally both standing and communicating from opposite sides of the beach ball.

Yeah, I think what often happens, Rich, when, when people do this. So just take those two examples.

A, you've got somebody who's very logical, who communicates with very logical words, with data, or maybe with technical accuracy. Now whatever, whatever it is they use to them, they might think, well, why don't they get it? I've given them everything. That proves my point.

Yeah, but if you've got somebody who's listening from, for example, more of a relational thinking preference, where actually all they're really trying to understand is the feelings and the people perspective to this, that data and that logic and that analytical information isn't landing because what they're thinking is. Well, and it's going the other way around.

You know, if I've communicated how I feel and I've been very, I've used very emotive words about how I feel, I might think, well, why hasn't that landed on that person? But they're not hearing that. They're just looking for the logic and the rationality and what I'm saying.

And you wonder why our message misses the mark. I mean, I think that's part of the problem here. Yeah. So I'm saying this happens all the time. It is often based on our natural preference.

We all have a preference for how we process information. So we need to be aware of these preferences. But how do we actually avoid this happening? Rich, what would your advice be to avoid this happening?

So a couple of things goes back to the first mistake about really being tuned in and listening to the other person. So really be aware about whether you think actually there's misunderstanding or frustration going on.

So if you're really tuned in and focused on the other person, you'll notice certain things around their body language, their tone of voice, where they're, you know, where then perhaps is frustration creeping into the conversation. And treat that as a trigger to be curious. Treat that as a trigger to be curious. So ask the question.

Okay, so I'm explaining it in this way, ask them, you know what, why is what I'm saying not landing? Do I need to explain it in a different way? You know, what's going to be better for you in terms of the way I'm communicating?

So essentially what we need to do is we need to walk around the beach ball, walk into their colour, if you like, and to communicate from their perspective. I think too often leaders think, well, you know, I am the way I am, so people are going to have to get used to me. So.

And they're not prepared to flex and change their style as a result.

No. And actually, as we've talked about before on this podcast, being a good leader is all about being flexible and adaptable.

And I think when it comes to communication, that's so true. We have to.

If we, if we're going to be skilled in communication and skilled in influencing people, which is what leadership's about, we do have to be thinking about the world from other people's perspectives. And that's. And that's. That's empathy in action again, isn't it? And, you know, sometimes empathy, Empathy is seen as well.

It's not particularly important in leadership. Absolutely it is. Absolutely it is. And this is a good example of it. Okay, so let's go on to the final common mistake then, Rich.

Avoiding difficult conversations or being too direct. Again, happens all the time. Why do you think it happens and what actually happens when you. When this does occur?

Yeah, so I think this is two sides of the same coin again, a little bit like we talked about just now, two very different personality types perhaps at play here.

So, you know, one personality type might actually prize the fact that they're very direct, they're very honest, they're very straightforward, and that's a real strength, you know, and perhaps they're less worried about what other people think. And, you know, so their approach, their natural style, is just to wade in and be very direct and not care about what others think.

Okay, I'll just bulldoze my way through.

Yeah.

And, you know, so the intent is good because what they're intending to do is just to cut through all the noise, cut through all the rubbish and just say, and I'm just being completely honest. I'm not being too faced. This is how it is and it's quite blunt. And there's a time and a place for that sort of communication, without a doubt.

Yeah.

Okay, there's time, absolutely, for that communication, but often, not always. Okay, so, you know, because, you know, if you take that approach, take that Tone, you're almost certainly going to cheese people off.

Almost certainly going to cheese people off and offend people.

So as I said, you know, there are times to challenge, but I think you really need to be cognizant of the fact if you're continually being really direct and leaving this trail of destruction in team meetings or whatever, that is going to wear people down. That's going to erode trust, that's going to erode respect and people will not want to listen to you.

Okay, now that's true.

You know, so the best leader I, you know. Yes.

You know, prize your natural candor and your natural honesty and it's a good thing actually that you're not taken in by what other people think, you know, so spot the occasions where that strength is going to really serve you well. Okay.

Yeah.

So yeah. On the other extreme, and this is perhaps where I tend to fall down, is sometimes I worry too much about what other people going to think.

So I might sugarcoat or nuance what I'm saying too much.

And then as a result the impact of my communication is watered down, you know, so I'll avoid, I'll avoid the difficult, challenging, you know, candor if you like, because I'm worried, I'm worried about the emotional response I'm going to get from the room. Yeah, okay. So, so I, you know, I've learned as a human being, I think, you know, that is definitely one of my blind spots and Achilles heel.

But it's no longer a blind spot because I know it's there, but it's an Achilles heel. So I've tried to bring some self awareness to that and I've tried to work on myself over time.

So I become less worried about the emotional impact that I'm going to create in a conversation, providing actually that I'm engaging in the conversation with the person's best interest at heart. And I think for both types of people that's the key to this. You know, true empathy is where you're tuned into the other person.

It's not sympathy, this is empathy. And you have their best interests, you have their needs at heart and you're trying to balance their needs with your needs. A difficult thing to do.

It is difficult thing to do.

But I think most people who've listened to this will probably at some point in their life have had to have an awkward or difficult conversation, maybe one they've been putting off for a long time, but when they actually get round to having it, often they feel relieved afterwards because a, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. And B, I've actually got some positive, tangible, you know, forward momentum because I've actually had that.

I've been courageous enough to dive into that conversation, probably listen to the person, listen to their perspective, be able to put my perspective across and actually find a way forward. So why on earth do we not do that all the time?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, because we worry about what other people think and you know, we get scared about the emotional reaction in the room and particularly when there's people close to us. That's when it becomes, you know, that's when it becomes even more difficult.

You know, there's a sense in which in the workplace usually we can put in place healthy boundaries. I mean, that's a whole nother topic and topic area, you know, because we can walk away at the end of the, at the end of the day.

But when, when we got people very close to us that, you know, you're in a long term relationship with, say, you know, having those challenging conversations is not without its risk, you know, not at all. And they can be really challenging to have. But I think the point you made there, I think was really good.

And I find this so often in people that I coach around having difficult conversations.

You know, I have a coaching conversation with somebody about this impending difficult conversation that's coming up and then in the next coaching session, you know, they stepped up, they were brave, they were honest, they were direct and it wasn't as bad as they were expecting.

No, it often isn't. That's the, we, we almost build it up. It's going to be this really difficult thing, really horrendous thing.

I, I'm not going to enjoy it and probably you aren't going to enjoy it because it's often is difficult to have a conversation. Yeah, but actually it's not as bad as it, as the vision you're building up in your head.

And I think that's again, leadership's about being courageous and you just use that word, courage. I think sometimes we just have to face up to this stuff and just be courageous and just have the conversation.

Because the longer we leave it, the worse it gets. We know that, don't we? If we leave it and leave it. That's why, you know, you said you're a trained mediator.

Well, that's the, that's the sort of really bad end when we've left it and left it and not dealt with it and then you need someone else to help you sort it out.

Yeah, well, not being funny, but, you know, if.

If leaders and managers get this right and do have the difficult conversations, you don't need to pay a load of money to have me as a mediator, you know, so you save money.

So let's just recap, Rich. These five common mistakes, not popular mistakes, because you picked me up on that faux pas, and you're dead right. These are common mistakes.

Talking too much and filling the silence. Not really listening, being distracted, or just preparing your reply to somebody.

Communicating through your own thinking style and not adapting to the thinking styles of others. Avoiding difficult conversations and assuming a shared understanding. There's a lack of clarity or context.

These are the five really common mistakes that we see all the time. So, Rich, final reflections and maybe one top tip to leave people with for you.

So I would say, you know, pick a mistake, give yourself mark out of 10 for where you think you are with that mistake right now, and. And then build in this natural reflective process which I talked about earlier. You know, give yourself a score after each conversation.

How well did that go? For example, how well did I listen in that conversation?

I think if you're not sure, ask for feedback, because, yeah, everyone, you know, everyone has blind spots. We. We all have blind spots.

So there'll be aspects of the way you communicate and how it lands that will be in your blind spot and you'll not be aware of. So ask for feedback and be open enough to. To listen to that feedback without being defensive.

Yeah, really good.

I think the thing you said to me, which is my top tip from today, is because you talked about, you know, communication being encoded, put into a form of words that goes to another person, then they decode it. I think have that really forensic focus on language.

Sometimes I'd be really, really careful about the language that you use and reflect on the language that you use and how effective it is, because I think that is at the essence where a lot of these problems start. It's the language we use or don't use that starts to cause these problems. So. Brilliant. So that's the end of today's podcast. Yep.

For anybody listening, please reflect on what we've talked about. If you have identified one of those five common mistakes that you regularly do.

As Rich said, try and do some reflection on what you could do differently. Give yourself a score and just try something different today, tomorrow to have a different outcome. So, Rich, thanks for your time today.

Thank you, Dave.

And we'll be back next week.

Thank you. Bye. Bye.

Bye.